Every year people who normally cannot stand each other get together so they can have the family Christmas.Your cousin that is always is bragging about her perfect kids in one chair,your aunt with her pro life views in other.The uncles that tell the same stories year and out making you want to scream loudly.That is just the mild stuff.What happens as a friend put it “The in laws and your family cannot play in the same sandbox nicely?”

That is why cops hate this time of year domestic abuse goes up all over the place.The long simmering fights over money,your crazy parent/s, in laws all come to the fore.Toss in some alcohol and you have the light to the fire.I used to be in dread of Christmas the pressure from my family to buy them the right presents.Trying to get along along with my mother for a few hours cost me a week in bed every year.I no longer have Christmas with my family partly by choice and partly because the message your not wanted here is loud and clear.Yes it hurts at times l am not kidding anyone or myself by saying it does it not.But l much rather deal with the hurt of not going alone then the feeling of being on edge and waiting for my mother to pick to a fight.

One of my ex boyfriends said something once that made a lot of sense.”You see your family once maybe twice a year your friends all the time.”

When he said that it came to me l don’t have to be with blood family on Christmas to be happy.I can be with my friends the people that are my family more so than the ones l was born with.Now l know for a lot of people it won’t be this way for them this year.They will put up with the bs from the in laws in order for the kids to be happy.Which yes is the adult thing to do …..But let’s face it being a grown up sucks sometimes.

So instead of a gift change at work this year l purpose a family change.Everyone puts the in laws from hell, the cousin that makes you tear your hair out,the cranky aunts etc in a hat.Everyone picks a new family for to spend Christmas with.OK you might have to talk the families into it (cash bribes always works).

But think of the fun you can find out about your co-worker,new family stories to be told.The best part?At the end of the day they will leave and you can know for sure next year you WON”T be seeing them again.